THE STORY

I’m Hydiah, but you know me as Hydiahemerald a 27 year old creator from Chicago. As a young artist, I’ve expressed myself in many forms; back and forth from designer, photographer, nail tech, baker, and painter.

I knew when I was younger that I never wanted to work for anyone else but myself. Overall I wanted to do something creative, live in NYC (iykyk), be carefree, and leave my mark. I used to scroll through Tumblr while watching “Washington Heights” on MTV; imagining myself taking pictures, no 9/5, and living in my condo. Embarking upon this journey, high school  I started  “Esmeralda’s Creations” aka “Emeralds Creations” the beginning of something beyond me.

In high school, life hit me quickly. During that time I encountered emotionally abusive relationships, toxic friendships, and learned that my dad suffered from “Bipolar Disorder”. After learning about the effects, it gave me a different outlook on people’s behavior in general but I didn’t apply anything towards myself until 2017.

  During my Junior year of high school (2013-2014) I experienced my first mental breakdown and suicide attempt. At that time I didn’t know what “depression” was or what it even looked like, I just thought I was going through something. Overall my life did a complete 180; I held everything in after my senior year, gained almost 100lbs, changed mentally, and lost the Hydiah I knew.

After high school, my mom linked me with a fashion designer who mentored me and I started Hydiahemerald. In 2016 I got accepted to LIU Brooklyn in NYC (manifestation & shout out to my best friend). I was in a new city by myself, just me and my dreams but I knew God had me there for a reason; my time there I met amazing friends, my spirit was lifted, and I found my passion again.
** trigger warning **

During my second semester (2017) my dad died a week before my first fashion show and our spring break trip together. I cried for like 2 days, stopped grieving immediately after, and held everything in again. It was the middle of college and life hit again before I could even deal with anything else. I wasn’t able to finish my 2nd semester and I returned back home to Chicago. Coming home was discouraging, disappointing, and normal (unfortunately). After some time I went back to NYC to figure out how I could stay in school or at least in the city and nothing worked. I came back home again, experienced another suicide attempt, and moved to Kansas with my best friend. After a while I came back home and prematurely launched Hydiahemerald. Being discouraged by social media and comparing myself to the expectations around me, I completely stopped working for Hydiah. In 2018 I had enough of the back and forth of my emotions and mental state; and went to the doctor who diagnosed me with “Major Depression Disorder”. Immediately after my diagnosis, I googled anything that would help me besides prescribed medicine. While searching for a solution I realized that I helped myself this whole time and can help someone else in the same way.

I create things to express my feelings and anything going on around me. No matter what I feel everything, and I had to step back from the noise in order to hear MYSELF. I learned that creating told the words I lost, the words I couldn’t say, and everything in between.

Someone once said, “creatives are basically over-thinkers who can create representations of the chaos” I guess Hydiahemerald is my way of saying, you’re not alone in the disorder.

-Hydiah